The+Art+of+Sentences

b. Para 1 in my opinion has the worst sentence fluency. First of all, the transition words between sentences are random and cause the para to sond choppy. Though the para folows an outline that connects the ides one by one and does not jump from one to another, the horrible transition words are too noticable that it covers it up. The last sentence is very sudden and not fluent at all, especially with the use of the word "therefore," it sounds like it was copied and pasted onto the end of the para. [ My comment: other than transition words?]
 * 1) 6 -- Sentence Fluency Recognition

b. Second one is the worst because the sentences are not well-connected to each other. It looks like a list of short descriptions of a book than a paragraph. First sentence is missing a verb and the last sentence can be improved by putting a colon instead of a semi-colon. Transition worlds would improve the sentence fluency.

c. #4 The satiric fable -- Animal Farm -- allegorized the fiasco that occured during the years of the Soviet Union. Some animals represent the real life figure of the Soviet Union during the revolutionary process: Snowball represents Trotsky and Napoleon represents Joseph Stalin. Other minor characters also symbolize those of Stalin's Russia. Because Orwell wrote this book, because we read it, because we lear it, we know to watch out for dictators.

c. Second example -- The Russian Revolution had been represented through the novel, Animal Farm. The book clearly illustrates the Russian Revolution by representing different historical roles in different animals. It also has varying emotions: happiness and sadness, humor and seriousness, and more. Most of all, the deep conflicts and ideas in Animal Farm illustrates conflicts in the government today.


 * 1) 3 Write the same sentence twice and punctuate it two different ways. Discuss the difference in SOUND, EMPHASIS, AND EFFECT. (3 points)
 * 1. In the Sound of Waves, Shinji and Hatsue fall in love: a strong, passionate love that make two teenagers risk anything.
 * 2. In the Sound of Waves, Shinji and Hatsue fall in love -- a strong, passionate love that make two teenagers to risk anything.
 * Difference:
 * Sound -- For pattern 3, I need to "rest" in the colon and start the second clause while for pattern 9, it does not sound like two separate causes but rather defines the "love."
 * Emphasis -- For patter 3 and 9, they both emphasize the "love"; however, pattern 9 focuses more on the word "love" while pattern 3 emphasizes the definition of Shinji and Hatsue's love. (There is more . . . )

"Robert Mondavi's father, Cesare, came from Sassafarento near Ancona, on the Adriatic coast of the marches. Moreover, is was not a particularly rich or fertile part of It Italy even now. Except for Verdicchio which was much of a wine-growing region. When Cesare was born, in 1883, from a large, simple family and possible the first member of it; to be able to sign his name." Cyril Ray, "Robert Mondavi of Napa valley."

Monday, Nov. 30 //Copy and paste the following sentences into your DOL page. The periods are correct. You need to place commas, semi-colons and colons in the proper places. Then explain what kind of sentence it is and why it creates good sentence fluency.// 1. Three diamonds! Each worth three thousand pistoles! Sir I would lay my life down for you sooner than throw you in the dungeon. 2. There are orders to arrest all foreigners hereabouts but leave it o me. 3. I have a brother in Dieppe in Normandy I will take you there and if you have any diamonds for him he will look after you as if he were looking after me. (semi-colons as well as a comma or two) 4. The abbe now spoke up "It's because am imbecile from Arras listened to some fookish talk which was enough to make him go and commit parricide -- not like what happened in May 1610 but like . . ."

1. Read Checkpoints on page 17, then paraphrase. a. Remember, a paraphrase is NOT copying, but putting in your own words. How to do this? Read it, put it aside so you don't see the original, write, then double check to make sure you didn't plagiarize or mess up the meaning. b. Try to use one of the patterns in your paraphrase. 2. Exercises 1 and 2 on page 17
 * Monday, Nov. 23**
 * 1 . The math homework was very easy: the students all got A's on their papers.
 * 2. The dot-com companies have changed the work week: they were tired of going to work everyday including Sundays.

Paraphrase: pattern 1: The idea of two sentences should be put into one and should be related. pattern2: make the first clause simple and vague. pattern3: The second clause should be much more detailed than the first sentence.

1. Read pages 15 and 16, then close the book. Explain to a partner the rule. Partner, listen first (when they are completely finished), correct or add to what the person said. Be prepared to present to the class (it would be the person who didn't share the first time).
 * Nov. 16,**

1. The following are Pattern 2 Sentences -- Punctuate them correctly. a. Thought is the blossom language the bud action the fruit. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson b. Sam walks quickly and sprightly to the store Yunji lackadaisically.
 * November 12 --**

2. Write two sentences of your own original creation using Pattern 2 about //Candide//.

November 9/10 Combine group two on page 11 using Pattern 1b. Put in your DOL wiki page. Read page 12 and 13. Do exercises 4 and 3. Then confirm with a neighbor that it looks correct. Put your neighbor's name as a checker at the bottom.

EXAMPLE: 2. Going to carnivals makes me happy; to school, apprehensive. (Ho Jun checked.)

What have we done so far? Read Chapter 1. If you haven't read it yet, please do so. Exercises with Pattern 1.


 * March 10, 2010**

Patterns 1-7:

Both paragraphs listed below incorporate the patterns studied thus far, however, one of them uses the structures more effectively.

1. Which would you say is better? Support your answer with specific instances from the text. 2. With the paragraph you decided wasn't as good as the other, then make at least two changes to that paragraph which would improve it.

Greening buds, patches of mud, scattered puddles, a birth of color -- spring was on its way. Noel always found this season to be the ripest: thoughts of change and potential circulated through her body. But what made this spring more anticipated than the last? Perhaps it was the knowledge that she was going to be moving back home at the end of the school year. Or perhaps it was the warming air or extra chatter at home or one of a million other things. Whatever it was, she knew this spring was special; it really was going to be a season of change.

Greening buds, patches of mud, scattered puddles, a birth of color -- spring really was on its way. Noel always found this season to be the ripest: knowing of the changes that would soon be thrust upon her made her feel a certain tie to the blossoming fruit trees. She too would be plucked from her current home and shipped off to some far off place. Her endpoint: Lincoln, Nebraska. The plum's endpoint: who knew. It could have been Nebraska or Melbourne or Brittany or Johanesburg. But this was not the first time she had started over on some other side of the world, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. She had learned to look for the small beauties amidst these times of transition, and she knew these harbingers of spring would always find her no matter where she moved.