TFAJournal+Insun

JOURNAL CHAP 23-25

 * Did Okonkwo make the right decision? (Did he have any other options? What should he have done?)**

Finally, I have finished the book, Things Fall Apart. As I read the last two chapters, I was surprised and shocked by what Okonkwo decides to do; to behead a man who tries to stop the meeting and then, commits suicide himself. In my opinion, I believe that Okonkwo's decision to murder a man and kill himself was not the best decision to make. If he did not behead a man, he wouldn't have committed suicide. Okonkwo beheaded the man due to his anger and his goal of revenge of his injured back and his clan that has fallen apart. It was all because of his stupid anger that cause Okonkwo to do anything in bad temper. Also because of his ego to be strong and being manly, showing that he has no fear and that he is not afraid of anything. This finally taught Okonkwo a lesson that being not afraid of anything does not solve any disputes and that it is just stupid and useless ego. The fact that this shocking event happen due to his useless complexed mind tells me that it was not the best decision to make and that it is absolutely the worst decision to make. If I was Okonkwo, I would have tried to settle down the disputes not by just causing a war and violence but by talking or discussing and holding down temper even if I think somethings are just unfair. Okonkwo himself could have just handle the problem as I would but his ego will never let him; as I mentioned in previous journal, his ego blocks him from having a happy life.

JOURNAL CHAP 15-19
__My Response:__ In these chapters, I was able to connect and understand what each characters thinks. I agreed with Uchendu that "there is no story that is not true" because "the world has no end, and what is good among one people is an abomination with others". Stories can be exaggerated due to "abomination with others" but it is only exaggerated. It does not mean that it is "not true". Exaggerated story must have been developed from something. It is impossible to extend the story and make inference if there is nothing to start with. Therefore, all stories are true but it might be just exaggerated but that does not mean it is false. Also I was able to agree with Uchendu's another statement; "never kill a man who says nothing". For example, when "Mother Kite sent her daughter to bring food", " She went and brought back a duckling". Mother asked her "what did the mother of this duckling say when [she] swooped and carried its child away"and when her daughter told her that "it said nothing", mother tells her daughter to "return the duckling" because "there is something ominous behind the silence". So the daughter return the duckling and brought chick instead. This time the mother of the chick "cried and raved and cursed [her]" when she took her child away. Then, they decide to eat them because "there is nothing to fear from someone who shouts". I could relate this situation by my own experience of fighting with a friend or enemy. When I fought with a girl who I hated so much, I would "curse" and "shout" at her without patience. This caused the girl who I hated to fight back and cause more drama. However when I fought another time when I simply ignored and faced the situation, the girl did not fight back and this settle down the disputes among us. If you "[cry] and [rave] and [curse]", this will cause more problems and it will never settle down the problem. This situation applies for Nwoye and Okonkwo too. When Nwoye start to disobey his father, I was able to see his loneliness and his broken heart. The man that he believed to be great killed a man twice (Okonkwo), this caused him to feel empty and he starts to rely on God, christianity as a refuge. I can see why Nwoye did this. He felt betrayed by the man that he thought he was so great but he was nothing but murderer. He was disappointed by his father. However, Okonkwo simply faces this situation by ignorance. But in this situation with Okonkwo and Nwoye, it does not settle down the disputes among them. I mean it does not cause any big fights but it does not solve the problem. This is bad example of just simply ignoring. I hope Okonkwo can hug Nwoye with love and I know that will solve the problem but Okonkwo's ego of being manly holds his relationship with Nwoye from being close.

__Characterization of Okonkwo:__ Through chapter 15-19, I was able to see Okonkwo's change in his characterization and how he comes back to his old self at the end. As the years in Okonkwo's exile passes, Okonkwo changes into a kind and polite man. He was grateful to meet his friend, Obierika. If it was Okonkwo in the beginning of the book, he would have been cold and less talkative. When Obierika came over to Okonkwo's motherland, Okonkwo was a very good listener and seemed to favor talking with Obierika. However, he is the same man inside always. When Okonkwo "[did] not know how to thank [Obierika]", Obierika said, "kill one of your son for me", then Okonkwo believed "that will not be enough". Then, Obierika told Okonkwo to "kill [himself]", Okonkwo tells him to "forgive him" and gives up "thanking [him]". This shows that he is still man who cares more about himself than his family. Also that he was "not afraid" to "kill one of [his] son" and that he was still man with no fear. His ego of being fearless and strong is always inside Okonkwo; blocking him __**again, again, and again**__ from being a real human. However there are still some changes in Okonkwo's personality. When Nwoye decides to be Christian, Okonkwo does not beat him up and just simply faces this situation by ignorance. If it was Okonkwo in the beginning of the book, he would have beaten Nwoye till he stops to be Christian. Whenever Okonkwo hears something incorrect as he thinks, whenever somebody who disagrees with him, he would have been full of anger. However, now he just "shrugs" his shoulders and ignores. However, when Nwoye was gone for long to hear the service, when he came back, Okonkwo was mad and was going to "kill" him if Nwoye does not tell him where he has been. Then, he starts to become as his old self again. When people were not fighting to make Christianity leave this town, Okonkwo believed that people were "[reasoning] like cowards" and believed they should fight violently to move them away from this town and believed "that is what a man does". He again looks down on his motherland by thinking that "this was a womanly clan" and believed "such a thing could never happen in his fatherland". Lastly, at the end of his exile, he becomes totally as his old self again. He regrets wasting time on this "womanly" land and how he missed his chance to become higher in his title if he didn't come here. This is how he will be; he will be always held back by his ego.

__Questions:__ I wonder if Okonkwo change after his exile. I think at the end of part 2 shows that he "regrets" the wasted time in his exile. For me, I think he was about to change or he acted like he changed but he is the same person and he never lets ego of being manly has not gone away. His ego seems to hold him back from changing.

JOURNAL CHAP 12-14
__My response:__ As I read //Things Fall Apart,// I am able to see that this culture, including Okonkwo highly believes that no man can do anything to its "personal god or //chi//"; no one can change its destiny and fate. Before chapter 14, Okonkwo believed that he could change his fate and not be like his father. However after he commits crime and starts a new life in his motherland, he feels that "work no longer had for him the pleasure it used to have and when there was no work to do he sat in a silent half-sleep"; this showed me that due to his great feeling of "sorrow, he is giving up to change his fate or destiny. He thought "everything had been broken" and there is no way that he can fix and change this situation that he is in. Then he blames "his personal spirit or chi" for "not made for great things". He starts to believe that "a man could not rise beyond the destiny of his chi". When Uchendu sees Okonkwo's weakness and downfall, he asks why people use "commonest name", Nneka (mother is supreme) to name their children. Even though Okonkwo knows that he himself have came back to his motherland, he hides by saying "I do not know the answer". Then, Uchendu tells Okonkwo that he is "still a child" and I agree with Uchendu; being strong does not determine your success in life, I believe being true to inner feelings and being honest, not hiding feelings should be achieved first. Then, Uchendu tells Okonkwo that "man belongs to his fatherland when things are good and life is sweet. But when there is sorrow and bitterness he finds refuge in his motherland". In other words, "mother is supreme" and that "mother is there to protect [the son]" always. Uchendu is telling him that is why he have came to his motherland because somehow every man asks for comfort of his mother through hardship because they know mother will protect and support them no matter what and Uchendu wants him to know that. He also wants him to not "allow sorrow to weigh [him] down and kill [him]" because he has responsibility and duty "to comfort [his] wives and children and take them back to [his] fatherland after seven years". He tells him that he "did not hang [himself]" and he is "still alive" even though he went through many hardships. I think this is somehow giving example for Ear and mosquitoes story. Even though you are small and humiliated, to win and survive is to be "still alive".

Proverb: "As the elders said, if one finger brought oil it soiled the others"

__Predictions:__ In //Things Fall Apart//, the author always foreshadows the events coming up, either by natural disaster or the pattern of his story. There are always the same patterns of events in this book; good things happen and when we think everything is settled down, bad things happen in return. By recognizing that pattern, I was able to predict something bad will happen after the festival at Obierika's compound. As a result, in chapter 13, it begins with "go-di-di-go-go-di-go", the drum sound and cannon, foreshadowing that something bad is going to happen. Then, as I predicted, it was because of Ezeudu's death. Also, Okonkwo commits "female ochu" (crime of killing female, not intentional, gun exploded) when "delirious fury came a cry of agony and shouts of horror". Then, when Okonkwo flees to his motherland with his wives and start a new farm, "sudden and tremendous" rain falls and with sun that "had been gathering strength till it seemed to breathe a breath of fire on the earth" and sands were "like live coals to feet". The "evergreen trees wore dusty coat of brown" then "angry" thunder comes. Then, rain falls again but frozen this time, "hard and painful on the body as they fell". But eventually, "earth quickly came to life", letting Okonkwo to have a good farm. Again, the same pattern of events in this book; good things happen after bad things and then bad things happen after good things. Also, I believe Ezeudu's death will cause something to happen later because when Okonkwo heard about his death, "cold shiver ran down [his] back as he remembered the last time [Ezeudu] had visited him. 'That boy calls you father,' he said. 'Bear no hand in his death'".

__Questions__: - What is the hidden meaning and purpose of Chielo's statement, "We cannot all rush out like that, leaving what we are cooking to burn in the fire"? - Also what is author's purpose of telling stories? In this particular chapter, story about the thief. - How did Ezeudu die?

JOURNAL CHAP 9-11
__My Response:__ Through chapters 9-11 of Things Fall Apart, I was able to see Okonkwo's hidden side of warm, caring man and also his love towards his family. When Ekwefi came to Okonkwo to tell him that "Ezinma is dying", he "sprang from his bed" and "ran into Ekwefi's hut". This shows that he was afraid of what will happen to Ezinma; he was "afraid" to see another family member (even though Ikemefuna was not a real son, he was "considered" as son to Okonkwo) to face death. He starts to look like he really "cares" for his family and he is starting to show his real feeling inside his heart. Also when he came to make medicine for his daughter, it showed that he really cares for his family. Even though he looks cold-hearted because he uses aggressive words and actions, he is warm in the heart, he really cares for his family but he is hiding it because he does not want to look like his father. Then, when Ekwefi followed Chielo, Okonkwo have been following behind her and he tells Ekwefi to "go home and sleep" and that he will "wait [there]" for Ezinma. It shows that he cares for people that he loves. It happened as I predicted because in previous chapters, someone talked about this powerful guy who seemed to be strong and that he had died because of his wife and when I read this, I predicted that it is going to be same situation for Okonkwo; that he will sacrifice himself for his love. Also in these chapters, I was able to see strong relationship between Ekwefi and Ezinma (mother and daughter). When Ekwefi didn't give up giving a birth to her child, it showed that she really cared for her daughter. When Ezinma was born, Ekwefi loved her so much that she felt "anxiety" that she might soon leaver her too like all other children that she had given birth to. However later, Ekwefi felt "faith" to Ezinma and that she will never leave her. When Chielo took Ezinma away, Ekwefi was afraid and scared but she still followed them to protect her daughter and she was ready to sacrifice herself for her daughter; this is what all mom feels for their daughter. I was able to see my mom's feeling through Ekwefi.

Also I was able to see that people in this culture blame its fate and "evil chi" for bad consequences. Before, I thought every men in this culture are just like Okonkwo but they are not because the Evil Forest says "it is not bravery when a man fights with a woman".

__Question__: I wonder why the title of the book is "Things Fall Apart". Is it based on Okonkwo's life? That he is facing hardships and all the things that he had built up is "falling apart"? So my question is why do you think the title of the book is "Things Fall Apart"? Also why does Chielo call Ezinma "my daughter"?

__Answer for Question:__ I responded to Claire Yang's question; Q: What is it about Ezinma that leads Okonkwo to reveal his other face – the caring father? A: As I continue reading the book, Things Fall Apart, I was able to see the warmth of Okonkwo, his real heart inside. In other words, he starts to "reveal his other face", the "caring" and warm hearted father. In chapter 9-11, I was able to see Okonkwo's care for Ezinma. Ezinma was an ogbanje; "wicked [child] who, when she died, entered her mother's womb to be born again". Therefore, Ekwefi had many hardships to face death of her children and the last child that survived was Ezinma. I believe that is one reason why Okonkwo was afraid when he heard that Ezinma is sick again; because she is precious, she's the one who survived out of all the child that faced death. Also, Okonkwo had already faced Ikemefuna's death and he knew that he felt "uneasy" and discomfort. Therefore, he knows that he will feel the same when Ezinma dies of sickness. This shows that Okonkwo is now starting to be true to his feelings inside his heart. Another reason why Ezinma leads Okonkwo to reveal his caring side is because her mother, Ekwefi is the woman that he has been loving before he was rich and powerful. This showed me that he really loves Ekwefi because even though she left him to another man because Okonkow was poor, when she came back to him, he accepted her and still loved her. As a result, we can see Okonkwo's real heart and that he is a "caring" man through Ezinma.

JOURNAL CHAP 7-8
__My response:__ In chapters 7 and 8 of //Things Fall Apart//, I was shocked when Okonkwo actually killed Ikemefuna to show that he is "not afraid" of anything and that he is strong. I mean "[he] [called] [him] father"; they were in a strong relationship of father and son and Ikemefuna accepted Okonkwo as his father which meant that he wanted to become like him and that he respected and honored him. However, Okonkwo betrayed his "son" (even though he is not a real son) because "he was afraid of being thought weak". After Ikemefuna's death, when Okonkwo was not being able to control his emotions, he thought that he had "become a shivering old woman", due to his belief that women are emotional and are not able to control their emotions and get caught up in it; that was sign of weakness to him. Therefore, for Okonkwo, women equals weakness. And he was not able to understand why killing one more person out of several people that he have killed, caused him to feel discomfort and emotional. As I read, I realize that Okonkwo is very cold, heartless, emotionless, and hard (stern); due to his belief that all those characteristics represents that he is not weak and that he is strong. I wonder why he believes that way. I want to tell him that it is okay to be emotional and to not be able to control emotions because we are human and we have a heart and heart is where everything comes from; he should follow his heart.

__Daily assignment (close reading):__ "When did you become a shivering old woman," Okonkwo asked himself, "you, who are known in all the nine villages for your valor in war? How can a man who has killed five men in battle fall to pieces because he has added a boy to their number? Okonkwo, you have become a woman indeed."

1.Comprehension- Okonkwo is thinking by himself that he has turned weak as an old woman and he could not understand himself being in such emotional state because he already has killed several people.

2. Connotation vs. Denotation Women = being weak and emotional; not being able to control emotions Women = an adult human female valor = his strength and his significance of life valor = great courage in the face of danger

3. Literary elements- "When did you become a shivering old woman," => metaphor Repetition of becoming into women you, who => rhyme valor in war => rhyme

4. Questions**- Why does Okonkwo think being a women is something bad? It seems like all the bad characteristics are characteristics of women for him. Why can't he stand being emotional, why does he think being emotional is being weak? Why can't he understand that it is okay to be weak and emotional because you are human and you have a heart?

__Questions:__ Why is locusts so rare and precious to the people at Umuofia? Why did they have to kill Ikemefuna? Why is staying strong and not showing any sign of weakness so important in this story for Nwoye and Okonkwo? It is making them heartless and human-less.

JOURNAL CHAP 3-6
__My response:__ As I read the chapters, 3 to 6 of //Things Fall Apart//, I realized that Okonkwo's life is an example of outcome of hardworking in real world and I also realized that his hardworking life is constantly being compared by the lazy, easy-going people's lives, such as his own father's life. As I predicted in journal entry 1, his feeling of inferior due to his dad caused him to be exactly opposite of his dad. He works so hard to be "not" like his dad; he stays strong and never shows any sign of weakness. Also he stands firmly and never gives up; he work so hard on himself and everything that he does, because he does not want to be easy-going, lazy person like his dad. In these chapters, the readers can see how hard he worked to become as he is now; he knew that it takes hard work to achieve something and he was proud even though he did not have anything in the beginning because he was confident that he will achieve and gain soon; he had no fear to do anything it takes to be strong. Even the people knew how hard he worked and believed that "if ever a man deserved his success, that man was Okonkwo"; that's how hard he worked. It is just like how life works in reality, it takes hard efforts to gain something and even if you gain something easily, it is easier to get it taken away and lose it. As I read the hardships that Okonkwo went through to succeed, I realized that nothing is impossible to gain and achieve if you work hard and even if you face hardships through the progress, you will see the good outcome at the end because that is what it takes to succeed your goal. However, his father, Unoka's reputation to people was exactly the opposite of Okonkwo. Unoka's "chi or personal god was evil" while Okonkwo's was "good". Therefore, the author is telling us that "such was Unoka's fate" to die and rot without a grave; according to the author, fate is the outcome of your effort but Unoka have not made any effort to make his fate "good" therefore that is the outcome. However, in contrast, Okonkwo makes so much effort to change his fate as he wants and if he works hard enough, it will be changed; fate changes if you desire and make an effort to do so.

__Culture:__ As I read the chapters, I realized that the culture is based on agriculture and very old-fashioned. It was interesting to compare and contrast how the culture of Umuofia is different from present culture in Korea and how those two culture share some similarities. First, I was able see through festival they had for celebrating Yams, that crops are really important in their culture and that they live off from Yams and Yams determines your power and property. Also it is common that the father of family "inherit barn" for his son which shows that barn and farming is important property in this culture. When they have lot of barn and succeed in farming and have lots of Yams, it makes man their wives; having a lot of wives seems to determine your power and strength. And the wives really respects the husband and wives seems to be just servants in this culture. Also how Okonkwo abusing his wives shows disrespect for women. This culture of inequality of male and female was also strong in old Korean culture. Also lot of women's name is not mentioned in the book which shows insignificance of women in this culture. Another important aspect in Umuofia culture is knowledge; lot of knowledge determines how smart and strong you are and you get respected by your great knowledge. Also elders get respected highly. For example, when they were having a party and drinking wine, the elders drink first and then the second oldest and so on.

__Questions__: Why is having lot of wives symbol of power and strength? After all the violence that Okonkwo caused to his wives and his children, would all of them still support him and obey him?

JOURNAL CHAP 1-2
After reading chapter 1 and 2 of //Things Fall Apart// by Chinua Achebe, I had several question and I was able to understand and see Okonkwo's situations and feeling. I was able to see why Okonkwo ended up as he is right now in the story; it was because of his dad; his dad had heavy debts and people humiliated his family. As he grew up with his father, I think he felt inferior about himself and that caused him to be mad and strong as he is now. "If a child washed his hands he could eat kings and elders"; I believe this is same case for Okonkwo and it foreshadows that he will soon "eat kings and elders" because he had already tasted the fame and superiority. However the quote before that; "sun will shine on those who stand before it shines on those who kneel under them" was hard to understand and feel sympathy. Is this saying that good things will happen when you wait for it quietly and patiently? Also, I wonder why it had to be Okonkwo's family that Ikemefuna joined. Why couldn't it be other families? At the end of chapter 2, due to resolution for Mbaino for killing a girl from Okonkwo's village, villagers decides to bring few young people from Mbaino to replace and revenge for the dead girl. From that, I was able to predict that story is going to be about Okonkwo and new member of his family, Ikemefuna from Mbaino. As I read the book, I can predict that I will be able to see their relationships developing.