Revision+sheet-Shakespeare+for+Jinhee+Yoo

What did the author do well overall? -the author was able to inform the readers very well about Shakespeare's life What could the author improve overall? -no thesis -start the introduction in a different way instead of starting with Shakespeare's birth **Ideas and Content:** 1. Does the author clearly state the main idea of the paper in the first paragraph? What is the main idea? -it's about Shakespeare's life Explain why the main idea is or is not clear: -the main idea is clear because the whole point about the essay was his life 2. Do the middle paragraphs develop / gives examples to support the topic / main ideas? Does each supporting paragraph develop one idea or example? Do any paragraphs need clarification or expansion? -the middle paragraphs followed the same idea as the main idea because the whole point was about Shakespeare's life. Maybe, if the author expresses some more feelings towards Shakespeare's life, it would have been a very supporting paragraph. 3. Does the ending bring the paper to a satisfactory close? Explain how the ending works or does not work: -The ending brings the paper to a satisfactory close because the author expresses Shakespeare's life in a very simple way! Well, if she adds more ideas towards the conclusion, it would have been better. **Organization:** 1. Are there any parts of the paper that should be reordered? Explain: -no, the biography is very straightforward; and it should be simple. 2. Do the transitions in the paper work? Is there an over use of “and, so, but, then, or”? -there are a lot of transitions in the paper work because the author does a great job leading to the different ages of Shakespeare's life. **Sentence Fluency:** 1. Are there rambling and/or confusing sentences? Fix two and put a star next to the two you improved. -since her essay is very straightforward about Shakespeare's life, there is not much of a revision to be made. 2. Does the author use a variety of sentence lengths? Attempt to combine some sentences using a semi-colon or a comma and coordinating conjunction. -the sentences are usually short; in which I think is a very good idea. If the sentences are long, the other readers might get the order confused about his life. **Citing Sources:** 1. **Highlight all the in-text citations** 2. Does the author use in-text citations for any information that is not common knowledge or is a direct quotation? NO. 3. Are there any sentences or sections that don’t sound like the author’s work? Fix these or cite these as necessary. Don’t be a plagiarist! -since the author did not have in-text citations, there were some information that sounded like did not come from her knowledge :P 4. Does the author have a works cited list in MLA format? Check the wiki for links to MLA citation information. -the author has a work cited page that is listed in MLA format.
 * Revising (not editing) using the 6-traits:**