Becoming+a+Shakespeare+Revisions

The essay was good at organizing the Shakespear's different stages of works. Also, the vocab words are very unique, which made me to understand the essay efficiently. The author could have revise the Grammar. Also it will be better if she explains about his work more deeply. **Ideas and Content:** This essay was about Shakespeare's work about the different stages and the important people's work which inspired him. Although I could have guess the main idea, it was hard for me to clearly find it. The main point is not clear because the conclusion and the introduction doesn't explain the story and his works well.
 * Revising (not editing) using the 6-traits**
 * What did the author do well overall?**
 * What could the author improve overall?**
 * 1. Does the author clearly state the main idea of the paper in the first paragraph?**
 * What is the main idea?**
 * Explain why the main idea is or is not clear:**

Yes, the middle paragraphs gives examples to support the topic. She did great job of explaining each stages with many examples and facts. Yes, each paragraph supports Shakespeare's work well. Conclusion needs to be longer and has to summarize the story.
 * 2. Do the middle paragraphs develop / gives examples to support the topic / main ideas?**
 * Does each supporting paragraph develop one idea or example?**
 * Do any paragraphs need clarification or expansion?**
 * 3. Does the ending bring the paper to a satisfactory close?**

Not really. The ending of the essay needs to summarize and list the different stages of his work and close it.
 * Explain how the ending works or does not work:**

**Organization:** 1. Are there any parts of the paper that should be reordered? Explain: No 2. Do the transitions in the paper work? Is there an over use of “and, so, but, then, or”? I think that the transitions are over used in this passage. Some transitions is not necessary if the sentence can flow without them.

**Sentence Fluency:** 1. Are there rambling and/or confusing sentences? Fix two and put a star next to the two you improved. Grammar mistakes led some confuses, but overall, the sentences are very clear.

1. To be honest, I was not concentrating on every people because I was sure that my writings was fitting over many generations.

2. I would recommend Richard III, The Comedy of Errors, and Hamlet which are the pieces from my first stage. 2. Does the author use a variety of sentence lengths? Attempt to combine some sentences using a semi-colon or a comma and coordinating conjunction. The author does not use a variety of sentence lengths; most of his sentences are simple. 1. I followed Christopher Marlowe, a splendid writer who gave me an idea for the setting of the Hamlet play. 2. The most famous pieces were Midsummer Night's Dream and the Love's Labor's lost. **Citing Sources:** 1. **Highlight all the in-text citations** ** -**There was no in-text citations. 2. Does the author use in-text citations for any information that is not common knowledge or is a direct quotation? -No, she does not use any in-text citations. 3. Are there any sentences or sections that don’t sound like the author’s work? Fix these or cite these as necessary. Don’t be a plagiarist! -Her sentences and sections seem like they were organized by herself. 4. Does the author have a works cited list in MLA format? Check the wiki for links to MLA citation information. -No she doesn't have works cited list in MLA format.