Peer+Editing+by+Justin+Ko

Brendan Ryu Peer Editing by Justin Ko

Put your full name and peer editor at the top of the page. 1. READ THE FULL PAPER FIRST. 2. Before anything else, tell the person verbally -- your immediate impression of what you think they did well (at least one) and something they need to work on. 3. Then answer the following questions at the bottom of their paper or on another sheet that will be hooked to the paper.

a. .What is the main idea (thesis)? Write it here: //Santa Claus was real, but not for long.//

b.Explain why the main idea is or is not clear: //It tells you at the end of the paragraph.//

c.Does the author focus on key events adequately? Describe the key event here: //In 2001, he got the present from Santa. After 4 Christmases, he found the label under the bed In 2009, he doesn't are anymore about the present from Santa, but still gets excited on the eve//

d. .Are there any sections that are unnecessary (they don’t add to the story)? No

e. Do any paragraphs need clariﬁcation? No

f. Do the concluding paragraphs explain WHY the change or idea learned is signiﬁcant? Explain: Yes. He now accepts the reality that Santa doesn't exist.

9.Is the introduction inviting and interesting? Suggest an alternative -- think creatively. Write out your suggestion here: It is interesting because the essay starts with the experience right away.

h. Is the ending thought provoking and intriguing? Yes. He narrated the nonexistence of Santa in an interesting way by saying "catastrophic reality"

i. Suggest three places to improve word choice -- give a couple of suggestions either in the paper, with your initials next to the suggestions or here. I got a pair of snow boots................-> I received

j. Where is the sentence fluency good or need improvement? Swimming in the pool of grief a speck of dust saying hi to me opened my eyes as I heard soft snow flakes tackling my room window These sentences were all good and creative.

k. Spend three minutes going over grammar and punctuation and either asking questions or making suggestions.

l. OTHER? You come up with one, and list it here and what you did. December 25th, 2009 I slowly opened my eyes as I heard soft snow flakes tackling my room window; the last time I saw snowing on Christmas was 5 years ago. I included one of the patterns we learned because he only had one patten.