Revision+of+Rough+Draft

Revising (not editing) using the 6-traits:

What did the author do well overall? The voice of Shakespeare is very strong.

What could the author improve overall?

It would be better if he cares more about the tenses. It is confusing whether it is the past or present looking through the essay.

Ideas and Content:

1. Does the author clearly state the main idea of the paper in the first paragraph? Yes 2. Explain why the main idea is or is not clear: Has an opening saying that he will tell us how he contributed to English.

2. Do the middle paragraphs develop / gives examples to support the topic / main ideas? Does each supporting paragraph develop one idea or example? Do any paragraphs need clarification or expansion?

The body paragraphs did support the topics, and it did develop the topics. I think it is good that he list examples to support the main idea of each paragraphs. Each paragraphs do develop one idea, as well as one example. Some of the paragraphs would need more clear information and explanation.

3. Does the ending bring the paper to a satisfactory close? Explain how the ending works or does not work: It works, it describes his fame as well and the ending is pretty funny too.

Organization:

1. Are there any parts of the paper that should be reordered? Explain:

This essay is well ordered, but each of the body paragraphs need clear organizations.

2. Do the transitions in the paper work? Is there an over use of “and, so, but, then, or”?

Transitions sort of lacked in some sentences, it is kind of hard to read and not so smooth.

Sentence Fluency:

1. Are there rambling and/or confusing sentences? Fix two and put a star next to the two you improved. I think it should be more fluent, concentrate on your fluency as much as your voice.

2. Does the author use a variety of sentence lengths? Attempt to combine some sentences using a semi-colon or a comma and coordinating conjunction. Yes, but I don’t see the semi colon or commas. I think you can make the structure better.

Citing Sources:

1. Highlight all the in-text citations No in-text citations! 2. Does the author use in-text citations for any information that is not common knowledge or is a direct quotation? Yes 3. Are there any sentences or sections that don’t sound like the author’s work? Fix these or cite these as necessary. Don’t be a plagiarist! He;s fine, its original and cheesy. 4. Does the author have a works cited list in MLA format? Check the wiki for links to MLA citation information. Yes