Revision+Sheet-Shakespeare+(HSP)+made+by+Jinhee+Yoo

Revising (not editing) using the 6-traits:

What did the author do well overall? She written her paragraph very clearly enough.

What could the author improve overall? The author can improve by using more elaborative vocabularies.

Ideas and Content:

1. Does the author clearly state the main idea of the paper in the first paragraph? What is the main idea?

-The main idea is about the Queen Elizabeth's era.

Explain why the main idea is or is not clear: -The main idea is clear enough to understand because she had a definite introduction which explains all the body paragraph.

2. Do the middle paragraphs develop / gives examples to support the topic / main ideas? Does each supporting paragraph develop one idea or example? Do any paragraphs need clarification or expansion?

Her middle paragraph gives examples to the main idea because she had many adjectives that described her topic. I dont think she had to clarify her paragraphs because it was mainly about the era so then it didnt need so much clarification.

3. Does the ending bring the paper to a satisfactory close? Explain how the ending works or does not work:

The ending was just ok. She took the basic and the simple way of ending. She might have done better if she made her conclusions more interesting enough for the readers to be hooked.

Organization:

1. Are there any parts of the paper that should be reordered? Explain:

I dont think any order should be changed because she had all introduction, body and the conclusion.

2. Do the transitions in the paper work? Is there an over use of “and, so, but, then, or”? Transition in the paper works because she made a smooth transition from one paragraph to another by using good phrases.

Sentence Fluency:

1. Are there rambling and/or confusing sentences? Fix two and put a star next to the two you improved.

There arent any confusing sentences because her essay was mostly based on facts.

2. Does the author use a variety of sentence lengths? Attempt to combine some sentences using a semi-colon or a comma and coordinating conjunction.

the author had used variety of sentence lengths. Yes, she used semi colins.

Citing Sources:

1. Highlight all the in-text citations 2. Does the author use in-text citations for any information that is not common knowledge or is a direct quotation? No

3. Are there any sentences or sections that don’t sound like the author’s work? Fix these or cite these as necessary. Don’t be a plagiarist! Since she didn't cite it, some were plagiarized.

4. Does the author have a works cited list in MLA format? Check the wiki for links to MLA citation information.

Yes she had a separate bibliography.