Sentence+Pattern+Work


 * 1/14/10

Brendan doesn't want anything returned but //Time// and //Sports Illustrated//; the two magazines he had given to the students. Brendan didn't want anything returned except __Time__ and __Sports Illustrated__, the two magazines he give to them students.

The pipes burst during the morning, and Dad found a plumber to repair them during the afternoon. The pipes burst during the morning; during the afternoon Dad found a plumber to repair them.

1/8/10 (Improving Joe's writing)

It was cold: there was a lot of snow. I had a lot of fun. I am sad; I didn't get many presents, and my brother didn't get much either. PC bong, sledding, talking are activities that I did.

sentence 1: Pattern 3 sentence 2: Pattern 1 Group 1 sentence 3: Pattern 2 sentence 4: Pattern 4

My Improvement:

"It was extremely cold; the wind blew with fury and the snow kept falling. I had a lot of fun during the winter break, however, a part of me still didn't seem satisfied with something. I didn't get the amount of presents I had wished for so much, and that somehow made me melancholy. My brother didn't get much either; he was disappointed, too. During the winter break, I didn't have much choice in the activities I did. I went to the PC Bang, which is a center with lots of computers. I went sledding, which was fun, because there was a lot of snow outside. I talked a lot, during this winter break. I seriously hope that I can get the chance to experience some more enjoyable events next winter! Going out to meet friends would be a good idea!

**

January 6, 2010

This winter break, I went on a 6 day vacation to Honolulu, Hawaii. Honolulu is located on an island called Oahu. There are 8 islands in Hawaii; Oahu, Hawaii, Maui, Lana'i, Molokai, Kaui, Kaho'olawe, and Niihau. (Pattern 3) I was extremely excited about this trip because it was my first time going to Hawaii; my mother, less excited. (Pattern 2) It wasn't her first time. More like her third.

In Hawaii, there are tons of things to see. I went to a large variety of entertainment. I went to malls, restaurants, mProxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 oxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 oxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 iProxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 oxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 20theaters, beaches, and sightseeing on horseback. (Pattern 4Proxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 20My brother, on the other hand, was only entertained by one shop. In the Ala Moana Center (which is such a huge mall, it took me three days to actually finish seeing all the stores there), there is a very big Lego store. My brother went to that shop and bought at least ten packs of Lego each day for three days. He is so addicted to Lego. Everyday, we would walk into that store and the shop assistants would look up and recognize us. "Why, hi there! Weren't you here just yesterday?"

I would just smile a sheepish grin, being a bit embarassed. (Pattern 1) After an hour there, I would drag my brother out, as I wanted to go to other shops.

Hawaii was great! The air was clean (unlike Seoul) and the people were very nice. However, I saw Japanese people everywhere, as Hawaii is a famous vacation site for Japanese couples and families. It felt like I was in Tokyo!

December 4, 2009

1. Robert Mondavi's father, Ceasare, came from Sassafarento near Ancona, on the Adriatic coast of the Marches- not a particularly rich or fertile part of Italy even now, nor, except for Verdicchio, much of a wine-growing region, and good deal less so, no doubt, in 1883, when Ceasare was born, the son of a large, simple family and possibly the first member of it, I have read somewhere, to be able to sign his name.

No, this is definitely not an effective style of writing because first of all, it looks like just a mass of random info that can overwhelm the reader. Some people think it's greatly effective to write long sentences, but sometimes it isn't a good way to write. It just destroys the writing. So the most important piece of this "passage" is that the person who wrote this was able to sign his name. However, the other information makes it look as if other parts of the so-called "passage" is more important.

This is how i broke up the long jumbled sentence into smaller sentences.

Robert Mondavi's father, Ceasare came from Sassafarento, near Ancona, on the Adriatic Coast of the Marches. It's not a particularly rich or fertile part of Italy even now, except for Verdicchio, much of a wine-growing region. When Ceasare was born, he was the son of a large, simple family, and possibly even the first member of it.

2.) This passage flows well and does not seem to be a "mass" of jumbled information. I wouldn't really change anything.

Monday, Nov. 30 // Copy and paste the following sentences into your DOL page. The periods are correct. You need to place commas, semi-colons and colons in the proper places. Then explain what kind of sentence it is and why it creates good sentence fluency. // 1. Three diamonds! Each worth three thousand pistoles! Sir I would lay my life down for you sooner than throw you in the dungeon.

Three diamonds! Each worth three thousand pistoles! Sir, I would lay my life down for you sooner than throw you in the dungeon.

(Three Simple Sentences)

2. There are orders to arrest all foreigners hereabouts but leave it o me.

There are orders to arrest all foreigners hereabouts, but leave it to me.

It is a compound sentence.

3. I have a brother in Dieppe in Normandy I will take you there and if you have any diamonds for him he will look after you as if he were looking after me. (semi-colons as well as a comma or two)

I have a brother in Dieppe, Normandy; I will take you there; and if you have any diamonds for him, he will look after you as if he were looking after me.

It is a Pattern 1 sentence

4. The abbe now spoke up "It's because am imbecile from Arras listened to some fookish talk which was enough to make him go and commit parricide -- not like what happened in May 1610 but like . . ."

The Abbe now spoke up; "It's because an imbecile from Arras listened to some foolish talk, which was enough to make him go and commit parricide not like what happened in May 1610 but like..."

Compound sentence

Monday, Nov. 23 1. Read Checkpoints on page 17, then paraphrase. a. Remember, a paraphrase is NOT copying, but putting in your own words. How to do this? Read it, put it aside so you don't see the original, write, then double check to make sure you didn't plagiarize or mess up the meaning.

Check Points There are lots of patterns; for example, there are patterns 1, 2 and 3 in a compound sentence. The three patterns are not the exact same, meaning wise. The words that are in them play a different role and meaning. For Pattern 1, it fuses two statements that are related into one sentence. It is basically what you do if you don't want two choppy sentences that are related to each other. Pattern 2 is emphasizing a specific word or words in the first clause, but is not emphasized in the second clause. Pattern 3 is the pattern of the second independent clause being a definition, example, or just more information about the first clause. This pattern should not be used with a colon unless the second clause is directly related to the first. Also, every author should remember that all compound sentences must have clauses that are capable of standing by itself.

b. Try to use one of the patterns in your paraphrase. 2. Exercises 1 and 2 on page 17
 * The history test was extremely easy : the students all got A's on their papers.
 * The dot-com companies have changed the work week: their workers started to protest because of the lack of vacations.

Nov. 16,
 * 1. Read pages 15 and 16, then close the book. Explain to a partner the rule. Partner, listen first (when they are completely finished), correct or add to what the person said. Be prepared to present to the class (it would be the person who didn't share the first time).

November 12 --** 1. The following are Pattern 2 Sentences -- Punctuate them correctly.

a. Thought is the blossom lange the bud action the fruit. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

-> Thought is the blossom; language, the bud; action, the fruit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

b. Sam walks quickly and sprightly to the store Yunji lackadaisically.

- > Sam walks quickly and sprightly to the store; Yunji, lacadaisically.

My Own Sentences

Michelle loves puppies; her mother, doesn't.

Shelby and Gabrielle walk quickly and swiftly to the mall; their brother, gloomily.

Group 1:

The girl looks happy; she has a new car, and her brother has one too.

(11/11/09)

Group 2:

The tiger seems restless; he is really big, and he%